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Matt Cyr's avatar

Wonderful post. Really love the shout out and link for your mom’s book. That’s class.

One thing I couldn’t help think about as I was reading, and it’s related to the 3rd footnote and binary nature of either wanting to emulate or do the complete opposite of what our parents did… how much of the “do this / don’t do that” way of course-correcting that occurs in raising children then translates to how we apply lessons from our parents as adults. Subconsciously, we often pick a side when the best option is likely more somewhere in the middle.

If as parents we are able to acknowledge more “both things can be true” situations (good you stuck up for your brother, him being called a nerd didn’t warrant punching the other boy in the face) - our children may find more middle ground in our examples as parents.

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Rick Foerster's avatar

The other commercial that comes to mind is Never, by State Farm. It's the one that goes:

"I'm never... having kids / moving to suburbs / buying a van."

I too have shifted my full-on resistance of my parents to acceptance. I see parts of my parents more in myself now. I see the good in how they've shaped me. And overall, I better understand simply: "they tried their best."

Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufxHtZHaSE

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